I started this Throwback Thursday Then & Now series back in 2017 and have admittedly done an incredibly horrible job at keeping up with it, only posting 2 in total so far (3 if we’re including today’s)! My goal for the year ahead however, is to bring these back in full swing as originally intended. I think it’s so important to celebrate where life takes us – regardless of our journeys – and I am incredibly passionate about not only documenting but sharing others’ important life stories. Especially after the challenging 2020 year that many people had, it’s a great time to celebrate where we are and reflect back on the important days behind us that brought us here.
I could not imagine a better couple to get us started back up with this series than Rebecca and Steve, who celebrate 5 years married tomorrow. I have had the honor of photographing their relationship and transition into a family of 5 (6 including their adorable dog, Reuben) many times over in the last 5 years; highlights of which I will share below. And damn, does it give me goosebumps reliving all our times together. But what you’ll really want to stick around for is their story and their advice. If you’re newly engaged or thinking of marriage, and.maybe also thinking about becoming parents, they are sharing some pretty spectacular advice you will not want to miss. So settle in for this one, and prepare to feel alllll the freakin’ feels.
Happy anniversary you guys. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story and for giving me the greatest honor of providing you visual memories to remember it all along the way. <3
THEN
How and when did you meet?
Rebecca: We met at a beer league softball game the summer of 2014; we were on opposite teams. The story of this game is too good not to tell so here it goes. Steve was their stud homerun hitter and I was playing 2nd base. Steve, a lefty batter, hit a ball deep into right field. It was way over the right fielder's head. From 2nd base I ran out to cut off the throw for a possible play at home. I threw an absolute bullet from right field into home plate and Steve was tagged out. At the bar after the game Steve said, "Nice throw." I left and in true modern dating fashion Steve stalked me out on social media and messaged me a few days later. We started dating that summer.
Steve: What Rebecca's not telling you is that we actually met online in 2012. She went on a few dates with me but ended up dating someone else, as did I. Years went by, I grew an awesome beard, and suddenly she was interested. Whatever. I'll take it.
When and where were you married?
Steve and I got married July 2nd 2016 here in Buffalo. Our ceremony was at the LaFayette Presbyterian Church in the Elmwood Village and our reception was at Park Country Club. We are both big golfers and this is our favorite course in Buffalo. We were engaged February 6, 2016 and met with Park Club late February thinking we would shoot for a wedding date in 2017. To our surprise, they said a couple had just postponed their date for July 2, 2016 and without actually looking at a calendar we said, "ok". Then I went home and had an absolute meltdown that we only had four months to plan a 180 person wedding. Looking back, I don't know how we did that but I'm so glad we did.
Looking back on your wedding day now, would you have chosen to do anything differently?
Rebecca: I would have eaten more food. I know all brides feel me on this. You get swept up in the excitement of the day and simply forget to put food in your body. Ask Steve about how I woke up hangry at 3 am!
Steve: Not a thing!
What was/are your favorite memory/memories from your wedding day?
Rebecca: My favorite memory is more of the feeling I felt on our wedding day. The gravity and significance of that day still shakes me to my core. After all the years of dating and figuring out what I wanted in a partner, here was this person who checked all the boxes, who loved and supported me, and who was going to show me that this thing we had was forever. From all my years of being single and dating, I learned what I needed most in someone is consistency and lucky for me, Steve is the most consistent person I've ever met. I could finally breathe knowing I didn't have to put on that brave face all the time; I could count on him always. That sacred moment between us at the altar was my favorite memory. A close second was Steve's father doing his signature dance to "Shout" which was so good I asked the videographer to do a separate highlight reel of it in addition to our actual wedding day video. I watch it about once/month. It's gold.
Steve: Our rehearsal dinner was a really fun day for us. We had a relaxed backyard barbeque in my parents' backyard. It reminded me of these parties we used to throw for our golden retriever, Casey. We called them "Casey Parties" and my parents invited what seemed like the whole neighborhood. It was a great way to connect with friends and family once a year. So in bringing back that vibe, we rented a dunk tank, threw some hot dogs on the grill and had the opportunity to really visit with our friends and family who had traveled in from out of town for our wedding. Knowing our wedding day would be busy, this was a highlight for me.
Do you have any advice for couples planning their own wedding?
Rebecca: Don't let the "machine" swallow you up. The marriage machine that is. Be on the same page with your partner about what's actually important to both of you on that day. There are a million vendors and "enhancements" you could hire or buy; there's a reason the wedding industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. No one will notice that one of the bridesmaid's bouquets didn't match the others because it had to be made last minute. The most important thing is that your are standing there togehter in that moment, fully present, because the magnitude of that moment is what will carry you to "til death do you part". Oh, and stay the hell off Pinterest.
Steve: Relax and have fun with it... and hire Dawn for your photos because that's what you'll look back on in all the years to follow.
NOW
Since your wedding day, describe where life has taken you (ie, move, children, etc) and what adventures you hope lie ahead.
Rebecca: This question overwhelms me… in a good way! We got married July of 2016. Two months later we owned a house, five months later we got Ruben, our golden retriever. Then came the baby boom. We had our first baby girl, Reese, September of 2017, our second, Ruthie, December of 2018 and our third, Raphaella, May 2021. That's right, we have three girls under the age of four. Send help!
Steve: Travel and golf are two pretty big themes in our life that we will continue to do with the kids. We have managed to take winter trips every year since we've been married, even with all the babies. When Rebecca and I got married we asked each other what our non-negotiables were, as in what were we not willing to give up. Our answers were both travel and golf. So in addition to the family trip, we both also manage to give each other one solo trip each year - mine is usually a golf trip and Rebecca's is usually a her annual National Parks trip with my sister and sister-in-law. Shout out to the grandparents for helping us make these trips possible.
What has been your biggest struggle as parents?
Rebecca: Parenting two toddlers through a pandemic while pregnant.
Steve: Parenting two toddlers through a pandemic with a pregnant wife.
What would you say has been your biggest win or accomplishment being parents?
Rebecca: Surviving a pandemic with two toddlers while pregnant. As hard as 2020 was on families, I feel like we did a good job of insulating our kids from the negatives of the pandemic. I'm not a crafty mom so when we got cut off from all the outside activities that I rely on to help our kids grow and learn I really paniced. I felt all this pressure to start "teaching" them at home the things they were no longer getting from an early childhood program. I failed miserably at it. But looking back now, they came out of it just fine and I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself.
Steve: Raising what I believe are kind, good-hearted little girls. I love seeing our girls, as young as they are, starting to look out for and care about one another. I makes me feel like we're doing something right.
Words of Wisdom
Do you have any advice for newly married couples on getting through the ups and downs of husband and wife (plus children?) life?
Rebecca: Marriage is a big deal. It will push you to grow in ways you never had to before. You begin to merge your lives in ways you never had to. We always kept a very open line of communication about money, how we would save it, and what our goals were with it. We talked about other big stuff like children, how we would parent, and what we saw for our future with them in it. We took this stuff really seriously because we knew there would be bigger, harder decisions ahead because that's just how life is. Being on the same page going in was hugely important to us. I'm so glad we talked about this stuff from the beginning. There were no surprises and we had the same goals.
Steve: Always be on the same team. Always be working to make each other happy. Always stick up for each other.
As now parents of three, do you have any tips for couples looking to start a family of their own?
Rebecca: Be sure about your decision to have kids. Parenting is the hardest thing you'll ever do together, but it's also the most rewarding. It will test your relationship in ways you can't imagine, but you'll be grateful for all of it - as hard as it is. You'll reach new levels of appreciation for one another, you'll see new sides of one another, and you'll find deeper levels of respect for one another. These are the things that will keep your relationship rock solid for the rest of your life.
Steve: Start a 529 college savings account as soon as they're born! (haha)
The Importance of Photographs in Your Life
Over the years I have been honored to provide you with photographs that document you through different life phases. Why are these images so important to you?
Rebecca: As the world becomes more and more digital, I worry that family memories will get lost deep in the sea of digital photos we all keep on our devices. I love stumbling across photographs of my parents, grandparents and great grandparents. When I'm gone, I want my children to be able to feel and touch those photos of us; to look back on those moments in time and be able to feel how much we loved each other.
Steve: I love filling our home with things that are meaningful and there's nothing more meaningful to me than this family we've created.
